The company I work for offers massages 3 days a week.
Pretty Nice!!
Last week I decided that I would get a massage as my back was feeling a bit tight. I went into the Outlook Calendar and signed up for an upcoming appointment.
The next day my supervisor awkwardly approaches me while I am using the urinal and asks if I had in fact signed up for a massage?
"Uh, (still peeing mind you) yeah, actually I did sign up for one. My back has been a little tight lately and I figured I would..."
He interrupts me while I am still peeing.
"Actually Matt, you signed up for a wax."
Still peeing.
"Oh, no I must of..."
He interrupts me again.
"Eh, I'm just letting you know."
He walks out and I stop peeing.
2/10/08
2/4/08
I always wanted to be Superman
So today I met with some prospective clients (yeah I do work and use words like client and prospective, though not always in that order) and the meeting went well. There were about seven individuals in the room, myself and my fellow employee being two of them. When the meeting concluded we made polite small talk, shook hands, scheduled our next meeting and were making our way out the door when one of the females in the room stopped me and said "I just have to say, has anyone ever told you that you look just like Christopher Reeves?"
Attached is the comparison. Perhaps she was onto something?
1/22/08
Mmmm-Mmmm-Mmmm
The other night I was tailing another car on my way home. Not tailing as in I was tight on his bumper, tailing as in behind this car and we both travelled along the same road, he in front of me and me behind him. As we approached an intersection, following a bend in the road, he put on his left blinker and moved into the left hand turn lane. This was indicated on the tail end of the curve and as he began moving left I accelerated to pass him as I continued straight. However, as I moved in next to him he decided that he wasn't going to turn left and moved back into the lane. I swerved to the right.
My adjustment wasn't erratic, but it was deliberate. The sharp curve not quite completed, my back end fish-tailed. I lost control and slammed into a pole going close to 40 mph. Once I hit the pole I did an approximate 720. My air bags deployed and I spun into the middle of the intersection. The only other car within eyesight continued driving and never returned.
My car is officially totaled. It will never see a road again. I was lucky enough to walk away from the crash with little damage inflicted to myself personally.
The crazy thing about the whole experience, though, is that as I continue to replay the scenario over in my head again and again, I find that a part of me wants to experience it again. It was a total rush. I was an official crash test dummy.
disclaimer: I can only afford to destroy one car so it looks like the next time will have to wait.
My adjustment wasn't erratic, but it was deliberate. The sharp curve not quite completed, my back end fish-tailed. I lost control and slammed into a pole going close to 40 mph. Once I hit the pole I did an approximate 720. My air bags deployed and I spun into the middle of the intersection. The only other car within eyesight continued driving and never returned.
My car is officially totaled. It will never see a road again. I was lucky enough to walk away from the crash with little damage inflicted to myself personally.
The crazy thing about the whole experience, though, is that as I continue to replay the scenario over in my head again and again, I find that a part of me wants to experience it again. It was a total rush. I was an official crash test dummy.
disclaimer: I can only afford to destroy one car so it looks like the next time will have to wait.
12/3/07
Baby Diego
A re-telling of the events as they were told to me. Not for the faint of heart.
My sister has three boys, the middle child being 3 1/2. The little group of mothers my sister socializes with (you know, drink Starbucks, talk about shopping and how their children are different and yet the same) decided to have a large group birthday party for a few of the children whose birthdays were relatively close in date. So before you know it, a 12 child birthday party has been organized. The mothers are all given different roles, some playing bigger roles than others, and everything is going to be a real hoot.
The day arrives and the mothers and their children congregate at the nature center where they've rented out a private room for the party. Snacks and toys in hand, toddlers between the ages of 3 to 5 all show up for what should be an afternoon of good times.
They start the day off with a light nature walk, a few of the mothers staying behind to get the party prepped for when the children return. Soon they come streaming back in, wound up from the cool autumn breeze and building anticipation of the party to come. They come running to the balloons and the colors and the presents and the food. Then, one mother who has recently moved to the United States from India brings out her big surprise, a life size Baby Diego pinata.
Now for all of you unaware of Baby Diego, he is a popular character amongst toddlers and small children around the country who gets into whacky adventures and teaches life lessons. This group of children in particular happen to be in love with Baby Diego.
The sight of this very impressive replica of their favorite character sends the group into hysterics. The children are screaming in delight as he looks them all square in the eye. Many are still to young to discern that this is not in fact a real walking and talking Baby Diego.
"HOIST UP DIEGO" yells the mother as another amazingly naive one throws a rope over the ceiling banister and yanks the end in her hands toward her waist. The rope end attached to the shoulders of sweet Baby Diego becomes taut and our hero is swiftly elevated above the raised hands of his adoring fans.
"DIEGO!!" they squeal with glee.
A few mothers exchange concerned glances as Diego swings in front of them and their children, the rope end disappearing behind his head. In all this innocent joy, something doesn't quite seem...
"Who wants to go first?" a commanding and shrill voice beckons to the anxious crowd of youngsters.
"I WILL" hollers the future army vet of the group. The kids are wild with excitement while the mothers become rigid, unaware why this growing anxiety is bubbling up inside of them.
WHACK!!
Spinning round and round goes Baby Diego attached to the rope behind his head.
WHACK!!
Suddenly the screams grow more intense as what were once joyous squawks begin to transform into echoing cries. "Mommy" yells one of the younger girls as she runs to a distressed mother who now shoos her little girl out of the party room
WHACK!!
And off comes innocent Baby Diego's legs. More cries... panic begins to ensue. What did Baby Diego do? Why are we hurting him? One child begins to hit another child for no foreseeable reason. More children and their mothers being to leave the party room. Despite the missing appendages, Baby Diego's candy filled intestines remain intact.
"Perhaps the children are upset because there is no candy" thinks the mother who thought up this most clever idea. She now releases the far end of the rope to allow Baby Diego to come crashing to the ground. More screams. More panic. She grabs the bat from the unphased future Navy Seal and begins to beat Baby Diego herself. Diego standing a good three inches taller than some of the smaller children in the room.
"WHY!?!"
Her futile attempts to crack open the precious Diego leave her frustrated so she soon turns to the table and grabs the pair of scissors left glistening in the mid afternoon sun. With a sudden and swift stroke, she raises and then plunges the scissors into Baby Diego's expressionless head and the party and the shrieks and the chaos reach its pinnacle.
The insides spill onto the floor. No child goes for the candy except the tiny Tony Soprano filling his pockets and mouth with delight. The party winds down and belongings are gathered. Quick glances are stolen as judgement is passed from one regretful mother to the next. What happened? How did it go so wrong?
And thus was the slaying of Baby Diego.
11/8/07
Updated
Since my last post:
Robert Goulet passed away
The Browns won 3 games in a row
San Diego practically burned to the ground
I had a bizarre blind date
Let's talk of the final event. Went on a blind date. It was a work associates friend and I like the work associate. She is married and I have met her husband as well. He is Chinese and told a very funny story where the President and CEO of his nationwide company came up to him and informed him that had recently hired another Chinese male in their San Fransisco office.
"Perhaps you know him?" he says.
I don't need to comment
-------------------------------------
So it starts out at a Halloween party in which I attended as the very unorginal "dick in a box". I filled my box up with blow-pops and hershey kisses and competed against 4 others for the right to distribute my 'goods'. Regardless, my date shows up as nothing. LAME. She is 4'11". I will admit she was attractive, but after long I found that a conversation with her only progressed into a 'who ever is talking louder gets the floor' type forum. That is all fine, I am far from perfect.
From the Halloween party we went to a private party that was being held by a 3rd string Browns player and upon entering soon discovered we represented the entire minority. Needless to say I was wearing a rented suit and had a box on my crotch and felt compelled to go to the dance floor and shake it. I think that lasted for a song and a half before being informed we were leaving. I don't think it was me.
From there my work associate's husband suggested we get some food and took us to a Chinese restaurant at 2:00 am. It was also a Karaoke night and the place was filled with about 30 drunk Chinese singing Chinese songs. We ate our meals. It was delicious. I had a large box attached to my crotch and sunglasses on throughout my meal. The atmosphere couldn't have been more spectacular.
Finally, we went back to my work associates brother's apartment who lived nearby. It was established that I could spend the night on the couch. Since I wasn't driving and the group seemed lively enough I figured it a fine idea. However, upon arriving at the apartment I soon found out my work associate and her Chinese husband owned two Chiwawas (?). If anyone has ever come in contact with these little whipper snappers, they are not pleasant and extremely protective. So once the night wound down and I cozyed up on my couch, the dogs decided they needed to guard against the one person in the place they didn't know (ie. me). I fell asleep and woke up to these two dogs growling in my face.
As I stared at these dogs I figured that this must be why people don't go on blind dates.
Robert Goulet passed away
The Browns won 3 games in a row
San Diego practically burned to the ground
I had a bizarre blind date
Let's talk of the final event. Went on a blind date. It was a work associates friend and I like the work associate. She is married and I have met her husband as well. He is Chinese and told a very funny story where the President and CEO of his nationwide company came up to him and informed him that had recently hired another Chinese male in their San Fransisco office.
"Perhaps you know him?" he says.
I don't need to comment
-------------------------------------
So it starts out at a Halloween party in which I attended as the very unorginal "dick in a box". I filled my box up with blow-pops and hershey kisses and competed against 4 others for the right to distribute my 'goods'. Regardless, my date shows up as nothing. LAME. She is 4'11". I will admit she was attractive, but after long I found that a conversation with her only progressed into a 'who ever is talking louder gets the floor' type forum. That is all fine, I am far from perfect.
From the Halloween party we went to a private party that was being held by a 3rd string Browns player and upon entering soon discovered we represented the entire minority. Needless to say I was wearing a rented suit and had a box on my crotch and felt compelled to go to the dance floor and shake it. I think that lasted for a song and a half before being informed we were leaving. I don't think it was me.
From there my work associate's husband suggested we get some food and took us to a Chinese restaurant at 2:00 am. It was also a Karaoke night and the place was filled with about 30 drunk Chinese singing Chinese songs. We ate our meals. It was delicious. I had a large box attached to my crotch and sunglasses on throughout my meal. The atmosphere couldn't have been more spectacular.
Finally, we went back to my work associates brother's apartment who lived nearby. It was established that I could spend the night on the couch. Since I wasn't driving and the group seemed lively enough I figured it a fine idea. However, upon arriving at the apartment I soon found out my work associate and her Chinese husband owned two Chiwawas (?). If anyone has ever come in contact with these little whipper snappers, they are not pleasant and extremely protective. So once the night wound down and I cozyed up on my couch, the dogs decided they needed to guard against the one person in the place they didn't know (ie. me). I fell asleep and woke up to these two dogs growling in my face.
As I stared at these dogs I figured that this must be why people don't go on blind dates.
10/10/07
Crunch Time
In order to feign competence at my new job I must pass a practical next week that I am somewhat concerned about. First off, the material is something that is new to me and I have had a very short time to learn it. Those dang-fangled computers.
I am confident enough I will pass, but in the past week and a half the level of information and pace at which it has been delivered has sped up considerably. Sort of a pledgeship type initiation, all employees tell their horror stories about (in this sitation we'll refer to it as ACF training) their ACF2 training, which is far more difficult than the already completed ACF1. Now, of course fearing I will be 'that guy' who doesn't pass their 10 hour practical (seriously, this thing is no joke) I have become a bit anxious over the test.
This leads me into the real subject of my post today which is a member of my seven person class who just so happens to sit right next to me. Her name is Kim, that is real, and I might strangle her. In my class is a lawyer, a 29 year veteran of NASA, a former IT manager at the Cleveland Clinic and other professionals with respectable careers behind them and then there is this 33 year old woman spinning around in her chair singing "weeeee" in the middle of class. She clucks and mumbles all day long, asks disruptive questions and, I have come to discover, is quite delusional. When certain topics of the days' teachings become unclear to me, this 6 year old with a driver's license doesn't help my situation out any. I have come to rant on this site, my good readers, because I can't do it anywhere else, I am still the new guy. This test will be over a week from today and I will pass it, but I swear Job aint ever known suffering like this.
Thanks for listening (or reading in this instance) and I will keep all of you updated on the most recent happenings as they come. I apologize for my recent lack of minutes on the site as this has been eating up much of my free time. I will let all of you know how the test turns out, but if I don't pass this thing I am going to put hundreds of ketchup and mustard packets under Kim's tires.
I am confident enough I will pass, but in the past week and a half the level of information and pace at which it has been delivered has sped up considerably. Sort of a pledgeship type initiation, all employees tell their horror stories about (in this sitation we'll refer to it as ACF training) their ACF2 training, which is far more difficult than the already completed ACF1. Now, of course fearing I will be 'that guy' who doesn't pass their 10 hour practical (seriously, this thing is no joke) I have become a bit anxious over the test.
This leads me into the real subject of my post today which is a member of my seven person class who just so happens to sit right next to me. Her name is Kim, that is real, and I might strangle her. In my class is a lawyer, a 29 year veteran of NASA, a former IT manager at the Cleveland Clinic and other professionals with respectable careers behind them and then there is this 33 year old woman spinning around in her chair singing "weeeee" in the middle of class. She clucks and mumbles all day long, asks disruptive questions and, I have come to discover, is quite delusional. When certain topics of the days' teachings become unclear to me, this 6 year old with a driver's license doesn't help my situation out any. I have come to rant on this site, my good readers, because I can't do it anywhere else, I am still the new guy. This test will be over a week from today and I will pass it, but I swear Job aint ever known suffering like this.
Thanks for listening (or reading in this instance) and I will keep all of you updated on the most recent happenings as they come. I apologize for my recent lack of minutes on the site as this has been eating up much of my free time. I will let all of you know how the test turns out, but if I don't pass this thing I am going to put hundreds of ketchup and mustard packets under Kim's tires.
10/2/07
9/26/07
Beauty & The Geek
Has anyone watched this show? Wow, I mean I thought "The Biggest Loser" was quality television with all those shirtless guys sporting bra-lines bigger than any of my former girlfriends, but 'B & the G' takes the cake. I normally don't watch shows like these (sure I don't, it was just this one time I was watching it and I just so happened to have that magazine of 'US' open in my lap) but I honestly couldn't stop. I was aniticipating its return from commercial break. The super hereos of superficial teamed up against the captains of capable thought. I haven't been that entertained by reality television since Tami was dragged across the floor screaming by David (for all you early Real World folk).
I think it was the line by the guy at M.I.T who had a 5.0 gpa that hooked me.
"When I saw the girls descending the stairs I had a feeling in my stomach that I simulate to jumping out of an air plane"
I think it was the line by the guy at M.I.T who had a 5.0 gpa that hooked me.
"When I saw the girls descending the stairs I had a feeling in my stomach that I simulate to jumping out of an air plane"
9/22/07
9/18/07
Quick Update
I apologize for those who have dropped by the site only to find 'nothing new". Well, with more to come in the near future I will quickly update you on the job, which is going great. Very young, very energetic and very successful. Needless to say I am already in heaven since our holiday party will be held at none other than Cleveland Browns Stadium with a 70's disco theme. Honestly.
Also, if my good friend Stanley happens to make his way to where his Mama's Making Good Cookies, I need some advice on adding video to my blog. I have the video, just can't seem to get it working. Tips?
Lastly, hope all of you are well where all of you are. Give me updates on anything and all.
Also, if my good friend Stanley happens to make his way to where his Mama's Making Good Cookies, I need some advice on adding video to my blog. I have the video, just can't seem to get it working. Tips?
Lastly, hope all of you are well where all of you are. Give me updates on anything and all.
9/4/07
Library Folk
It is the final countdown. I have 5 1/2 days of slacking left before the new job begins. Am I excited? For the rest of my life I will never look forward to working as much as I do at this moment in time. On the upside, I have never been so well-read.
Books I have read in the past 2 months or so:
The Plague - Albert Camus
Skinny Legs And All - Tom Robbins
In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
The Old Man And The Sea - Ernest Hemingway
Einstein's Dream - Alan Lightman
Absolute Friends - John Le Carre
Of Mice And Men - John Steinbeck
Our Endangerd Values - Jimmy Carter
Black Elk Speaks - John Neihardt
I have just recently picked up 'Lila' by Robert Pirsig and think this should finish off my read-a-thon. Some of these have been re-reads, (Hemingway & Steinbeck) one was a waste of time (Le Carre) and one is forever slated a bathroom read (Lightman... in this world I am taking a monster dump, but rather the dump flushes me as I am the one who stinks). The rest (Camus, Robbins, Capote, Carter & Neihardt) are worthwhile reads that I would recommend to all. Of these, each takes their own approach at tackling the human condition and how it is affected through circumstance and ones' personal religion/creed.
As for the library patrons I keep seeing on weekday afternoons who in turn keep seeing me. Weird.
Books I have read in the past 2 months or so:
The Plague - Albert Camus
Skinny Legs And All - Tom Robbins
In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
The Old Man And The Sea - Ernest Hemingway
Einstein's Dream - Alan Lightman
Absolute Friends - John Le Carre
Of Mice And Men - John Steinbeck
Our Endangerd Values - Jimmy Carter
Black Elk Speaks - John Neihardt
I have just recently picked up 'Lila' by Robert Pirsig and think this should finish off my read-a-thon. Some of these have been re-reads, (Hemingway & Steinbeck) one was a waste of time (Le Carre) and one is forever slated a bathroom read (Lightman... in this world I am taking a monster dump, but rather the dump flushes me as I am the one who stinks). The rest (Camus, Robbins, Capote, Carter & Neihardt) are worthwhile reads that I would recommend to all. Of these, each takes their own approach at tackling the human condition and how it is affected through circumstance and ones' personal religion/creed.
As for the library patrons I keep seeing on weekday afternoons who in turn keep seeing me. Weird.
9/1/07
10's & 2's
Per request by my friend Stanley, (who has on more than one occasion called me in the twilight hours looking for clarification upon the rules of this game) I have agreed to post 'my' official rules for this fairly simple, yet party favorite card game. Though not necessarily a drinking game, one is always encouraged to drink while playing.
- 2-5 players can play during any one round
- The object of the game is to get rid of all your cards
- Six cards are dealt to each player, three facing down (not to be scene by player) and three facing up.
- Up cards are placed on top of three Down cards. These six cards will not be touched until the player has discarded all the cards in their hand
- Each player is then dealt 3 cards that they are to keep in their hand
- Each player must have at least 3 cards in their hand at all times until the card pile runs out, whereupon they play any of the top three cards layed out in front of them.
-Once you have succesfully played your three Up cards, you may then play your Down three, though you are not allowed to look at the cards before throwing them. This adds an element of excitement as each player guesses their way to victory.
-If at any time you are unsuccessful in playing your Up three or Down three, you must pick up the card you would have played along with the existing pile and play those cards out of your hand before resuming to play the remaining cards on the table in front of you.
- You must tie or beat the card thrown by your opponent, doubles or triples of a card does not affect your ability to throw (for example, your opponent throw two 7's, you can throw one 7 or one 8).
- If you throw four or the fourth of a kind, it clears the pile and the player throwing the 4th card can throw again
-If you throw a card and must pick up from the pile and draw the same card you just threw... you can throw that card immediately if your opponent has not thrown their card yet (quick draw).
-At any point in the game, one can choose to pick up the pile even if one can beat the top card. It is at each players discretion.
-The two option cards are the 10's and 2's. A '2' resets the pile. The pile remains and play continues (for example: opponent throws a jack and you cannot beat that card, but a '2' will reset the pile back down to two and play continues and the pile remains).
-A '10' is the most powerful card. It can be thrown on top of any card and eliminates the pile, thus allowing the player who threw the '10' to throw again (for example: opponent throws an ace, you throw a '10' and eliminate the pile and then follow up with another '5' that is in your hand).
Alright, that should be a healthy start. Let me know if I need to clarify on anything.
- 2-5 players can play during any one round
- The object of the game is to get rid of all your cards
- Six cards are dealt to each player, three facing down (not to be scene by player) and three facing up.
- Up cards are placed on top of three Down cards. These six cards will not be touched until the player has discarded all the cards in their hand
- Each player is then dealt 3 cards that they are to keep in their hand
- Each player must have at least 3 cards in their hand at all times until the card pile runs out, whereupon they play any of the top three cards layed out in front of them.
-Once you have succesfully played your three Up cards, you may then play your Down three, though you are not allowed to look at the cards before throwing them. This adds an element of excitement as each player guesses their way to victory.
-If at any time you are unsuccessful in playing your Up three or Down three, you must pick up the card you would have played along with the existing pile and play those cards out of your hand before resuming to play the remaining cards on the table in front of you.
- You must tie or beat the card thrown by your opponent, doubles or triples of a card does not affect your ability to throw (for example, your opponent throw two 7's, you can throw one 7 or one 8).
- If you throw four or the fourth of a kind, it clears the pile and the player throwing the 4th card can throw again
-If you throw a card and must pick up from the pile and draw the same card you just threw... you can throw that card immediately if your opponent has not thrown their card yet (quick draw).
-At any point in the game, one can choose to pick up the pile even if one can beat the top card. It is at each players discretion.
-The two option cards are the 10's and 2's. A '2' resets the pile. The pile remains and play continues (for example: opponent throws a jack and you cannot beat that card, but a '2' will reset the pile back down to two and play continues and the pile remains).
-A '10' is the most powerful card. It can be thrown on top of any card and eliminates the pile, thus allowing the player who threw the '10' to throw again (for example: opponent throws an ace, you throw a '10' and eliminate the pile and then follow up with another '5' that is in your hand).
Alright, that should be a healthy start. Let me know if I need to clarify on anything.
8/29/07
More Virginia Visitors
The Nice Jenkins rolled through Cleveland last night and much fun and revelry took place. With some help from my hospitable Cleveland friends we all successfully consumed much while unlawfully smoking inside an alehouse (though it was deemed allowable by its owner, he being so risky).
Needless to say, in less than a 24 hour period we
1. Saw Dana 'take on' Jordan and lose on a tree lawn
2. Saw Adam convince girls he was from New Zealand and they then wanted him
3. Played a very intense game of bar boche that got an entire bar rowdily involved
4. Had a girl with no eyebrows uncomfortably hit on us (she was our waitress at breakfast)
5. At same restaurant sat under a ceiling leak that accented our food and coffee
6. Watched Adam look gay in a very gay part of town
7. Ate bad tofu (jello-like minus the sweetness)
8. 'Chugged' beers while talking like New Zealanders
9. Schemed Madden Football dominance with Rob (aka Bobby Chey)
10. Watched Jordan do somersaults in the middle of a street at 4pm, constituting public intoxication
Much fun... much fun
Needless to say, in less than a 24 hour period we
1. Saw Dana 'take on' Jordan and lose on a tree lawn
2. Saw Adam convince girls he was from New Zealand and they then wanted him
3. Played a very intense game of bar boche that got an entire bar rowdily involved
4. Had a girl with no eyebrows uncomfortably hit on us (she was our waitress at breakfast)
5. At same restaurant sat under a ceiling leak that accented our food and coffee
6. Watched Adam look gay in a very gay part of town
7. Ate bad tofu (jello-like minus the sweetness)
8. 'Chugged' beers while talking like New Zealanders
9. Schemed Madden Football dominance with Rob (aka Bobby Chey)
10. Watched Jordan do somersaults in the middle of a street at 4pm, constituting public intoxication
Much fun... much fun
8/24/07
That Wry Guy
On his westward venture, former roommate and fellow blogger Wry made a pit-stop in my beloved city of Cleveland. He even brought a friend. I took them out with some lady-friends of mine to try and trick them into thinking I was cool (though Wry was well aware of my guise having lived with me for a year) and we successfully got hammered. The next day we slept until noon and then drove around Cleveland. Eventually we settled at the Great Lakes Brewery for burgers and beers (in an attempt we to get back to normal). After some chatter and laughter they took off as Wry prepared to continue his trip west.
What was nice was having not seen him for over a month, it took a simple greeting and a sly grin to get back to where we left off. I enjoy good friends.
What was nice was having not seen him for over a month, it took a simple greeting and a sly grin to get back to where we left off. I enjoy good friends.
8/20/07
Roll It Up Slow
The unrelenting rain has kept me indoors for the past day and a half and it doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. The sounds of wet tires swooshing past seem to be the momentary constant along with the patter of rain on my rooftop. I am sipping coffee and writing and feel satisfied in my coarse of action.
I basically have three weeks to pass and nothing really to do in the meantime. This time is mine and of it I can make or do anything. It seems almost overwhelming in it’s magnitude of possibility, but as I ease into this first day with a steady rain and a cool breeze to balance the warmth of my coffee cup I find myself filled with a strange sense of contentment.
Nothing is really eas-y, or at least nothing that’s worth doing, but when one finds themselves within the comfort of a situation upon which circumstance leaves no other option, there is a sense of ease that is as comforting as a warm blanket on a chilly evening. It will pass as soon as my coffee is cold, but for the time it is here I can acknowledge it.
I basically have three weeks to pass and nothing really to do in the meantime. This time is mine and of it I can make or do anything. It seems almost overwhelming in it’s magnitude of possibility, but as I ease into this first day with a steady rain and a cool breeze to balance the warmth of my coffee cup I find myself filled with a strange sense of contentment.
Nothing is really eas-y, or at least nothing that’s worth doing, but when one finds themselves within the comfort of a situation upon which circumstance leaves no other option, there is a sense of ease that is as comforting as a warm blanket on a chilly evening. It will pass as soon as my coffee is cold, but for the time it is here I can acknowledge it.
8/17/07
Got A Job
Good news gang, I got a job. Long process with several bumps in the road. Lots of me waiting, waiting, waiting. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night stricken with anxiety and it would take a bowl of cereal and a few chapters of a book to get me settled back down. The good thing was that I didn't have much to do the next day.
Either way, it was a bit stressful because once I received the offer from the company I wanted to work for, I had to play a little cat and mouse to bump up my pay. I had another offer that I delicately dangled in their face and that sort of stuff (like I wasn't going to take pretty much whatever they offered me because... I needed a job).
Anyway, with a little patience (yeaaah, yeaah) it ended up being a win, win. Plus, I don't start for another 3 weeks so its more of me reading and eating cereal at night. I prefer Cheerios, but sometimes... I'll slip some into some nut'n'honey.
8/12/07
Enough
When is it appropriate to tell someone they are being inappropriate when they, in fact, feel they are sharing? Is there etiquette you should follow when listening to a story that you are both uncomfortable with and don't want to continue to hear, yet find yourself fearful that interrupting might shatter what you are quickly learning is a fragile psyche?
I found myself in this situation and poorly chose to make a joke about how uncomfortable I was learning private info from someone I didn't exactly consider a confidante. I used humor as my blanket on the fire. What followed?
Five second pause
They got up and left
I found myself in this situation and poorly chose to make a joke about how uncomfortable I was learning private info from someone I didn't exactly consider a confidante. I used humor as my blanket on the fire. What followed?
Five second pause
They got up and left
8/6/07
Oh, why ya live there?
I spent almost 4 years living in Virginia and recently moved back to my home state of Ohio. So why is it that whenever I mention that I lived in/moved to which ever state I am referencing that it strikes up a chord of irrefutable unimpressiveness in whomever I am talking with from said other state. In actuality I think both states are very impressive and have many similarities.
For example, did you know both states are nicknamed "The Mother of Presidents" because they both birthed the exact same number of U.S. Presidents, which are more than any other state.
Would Texas be referred to as "The Dead Beat Dad of Presidents"?
For example, did you know both states are nicknamed "The Mother of Presidents" because they both birthed the exact same number of U.S. Presidents, which are more than any other state.
Would Texas be referred to as "The Dead Beat Dad of Presidents"?
7/27/07
Spicing Up The Ballpark
I recently attended a Cleveland Indians game and was observing how the sport of baseball, our "national pastime", really is a pretty slow paced and arguably boring game. Some may say this is blasphemy, but if I don't have a beer in my hand then really... why am I there?
I was trying to think of other ways to spice up the playing field so fans could enjoy different levels of excitement when play begins to drag and I came up with a rather simple solution. Starve a couple of dogs and let them fight to the death in right field.
That should bring a couple fans to the ballpark.
I was trying to think of other ways to spice up the playing field so fans could enjoy different levels of excitement when play begins to drag and I came up with a rather simple solution. Starve a couple of dogs and let them fight to the death in right field.
That should bring a couple fans to the ballpark.
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Mr. Feeble
Tasty