Who's Got The Wax

The company I work for offers massages 3 days a week.

Pretty Nice!!

Last week I decided that I would get a massage as my back was feeling a bit tight. I went into the Outlook Calendar and signed up for an upcoming appointment.

The next day my supervisor awkwardly approaches me while I am using the urinal and asks if I had in fact signed up for a massage?

"Uh, (still peeing mind you) yeah, actually I did sign up for one. My back has been a little tight lately and I figured I would..."

He interrupts me while I am still peeing.

"Actually Matt, you signed up for a wax."

Still peeing.

"Oh, no I must of..."

He interrupts me again.

"Eh, I'm just letting you know."

He walks out and I stop peeing.

I always wanted to be Superman

So today I met with some prospective clients (yeah I do work and use words like client and prospective, though not always in that order) and the meeting went well. There were about seven individuals in the room, myself and my fellow employee being two of them. When the meeting concluded we made polite small talk, shook hands, scheduled our next meeting and were making our way out the door when one of the females in the room stopped me and said "I just have to say, has anyone ever told you that you look just like Christopher Reeves?"

Attached is the comparison. Perhaps she was onto something?

Mmmm-Mmmm-Mmmm

The other night I was tailing another car on my way home. Not tailing as in I was tight on his bumper, tailing as in behind this car and we both travelled along the same road, he in front of me and me behind him. As we approached an intersection, following a bend in the road, he put on his left blinker and moved into the left hand turn lane. This was indicated on the tail end of the curve and as he began moving left I accelerated to pass him as I continued straight. However, as I moved in next to him he decided that he wasn't going to turn left and moved back into the lane. I swerved to the right.

My adjustment wasn't erratic, but it was deliberate. The sharp curve not quite completed, my back end fish-tailed. I lost control and slammed into a pole going close to 40 mph. Once I hit the pole I did an approximate 720. My air bags deployed and I spun into the middle of the intersection. The only other car within eyesight continued driving and never returned.

My car is officially totaled. It will never see a road again. I was lucky enough to walk away from the crash with little damage inflicted to myself personally.

The crazy thing about the whole experience, though, is that as I continue to replay the scenario over in my head again and again, I find that a part of me wants to experience it again. It was a total rush. I was an official crash test dummy.

disclaimer: I can only afford to destroy one car so it looks like the next time will have to wait.