The Sirens of Feeble

I was once discovered as a wee high-schooler, and much to my mother's chagrin, up after curfew in the accompaniment of a young lady with no lights on in the entire downstairs of my parents house. My mother was not pleased with me nor the young lady and made that well known to all present. The next morning my father greeted me at the base of the stairs and told me to follow him into his study. Once we entered the room he looked at me with a very stern look and said "Sit in that chair and don't say a word until I'm done talking. Got it?"

I obediantly sat my butt in the chair and stared straight ahead. He walked over to his book shelf and began perusing the shelves over his half glasses, running his finger over the bumpy line of hardcovers and tapping it on his selection before pulling it from the shelf, as if he was only considering the book and might continue on in search of another. Now with the book in his hand, he sat down across from me, flipped to the desired page and began reading from Homer's "Iliad". He picked up where Ulysses (or Odysses) was traveling past the Sirens and, though lured in by their sweet song, was able to survive the encounter by tying himself to the mast while ordering the rest of his crew to stuff their ears with bees wax so not to fall under the Sirens spell.

I sat and listened to a rather compelling reading that ended with Ulysses thanking his crew, despite his earlier pleas, for not turning the boat and staying the course. At this, my father snapped the book shut and said "Feeble...that's your sex talk."

Now if you can imagine the dumbstruck look on my face paired with the glowing satisfaction on my father's, it may invoke a chuckle. Still waiting to be yelled at, I sputtered (as if I'd just unlocked the secret passage to Atlantis) "You mean I'm Ulysses?"

"And women are Sirens, so make sure you don't turn the boat."

At this he got up, put the book in my hands, and left. It is funny how often I will re-live that moment, as if there is a new pebble of wisdom to be discovered that I had somehow missed earlier. So many interpretations.

Fortunately for me I must have an entire fleet since I've wrecked numerous ships on the rocky shores of the Sirens' island.